when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
