Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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