it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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