Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
