omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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