First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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