um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
