If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
