the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
