I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
