if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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