it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
