I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
