Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Two words: blizzard sex
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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