After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
