p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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