Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
