Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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