GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
