dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
