dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize