She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize