2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
