u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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