Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
