i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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