did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I met the friendliest cop last night
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
