I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
