I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
