So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
