So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
