I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize