Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
