I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
its not stalking. its research.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
