I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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