Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
