just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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