i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize