Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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