So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
