my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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