I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize