Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
