This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
