Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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