You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
