You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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