how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
