Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
