But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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