He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
