Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize