I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
