Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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