He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
