Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
