very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
