if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
