She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
