You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
