sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
