I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
