i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
