She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
