Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
