The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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