"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
