when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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