come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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