Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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