I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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