Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize