There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
