I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
