I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
