She's JV to your varsity
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
