so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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