If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize